4. Using harsh tones
“It’s not what you said—it’s how you said it.” This is true because the way someone says something more closely reflects how they feel than their words. Drs. Awosan and Sterling give two instances of unsettling tones: condescension (like when someone says they’re sorry you feel that way) and sarcasm (like when someone says, “Oh, my God—I’m the worst person in the world” with an eye-roll).